


This Is Not My Journal!

by TheSeekerPorpentina



Series: Theseus, Aphrodite, and a little Minotaur [2]
Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anger, Background Character Death, Background Relationships, Brothers, Cinnamon Roll Newt Scamander, Complicated Relationships, Diary/Journal, Don't Judge Me, Embarrassment, F/M, First Kiss, Help, Hogwarts, Hurt, Hurt Newt Scamander, Implied Sexual Content, Kissing, Ministry of Magic, Piano, Pregnancy, Protective Newt Scamander, School, Teen Romance, Teenagers, Unplanned Pregnancy, Unrequited Love, War, Work In Progress, Writing, first wizarding war
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-04-21 02:37:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14275083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSeekerPorpentina/pseuds/TheSeekerPorpentina
Summary: Theseus keeps a diary regarding his love life, to try stop all of his anger. He doesn't want to do it, and he thinks it's utterly stupid, but Newt suggested it, and he doesn't want to hurt his feelings.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It's my first time on Ao3. It hasn't been beta'd. This is part of my series, set after FBAWTFT, and it's about Theseus and Leta, and how they got together. For those of you who don't live on Pottermore, they are revealed as engaged in the second movie. This doesn't focus on the war, Grindelwald, and everything else, but another fic I'm going to be posting soon, will be, and that will have the focus as Newtina. This is the companion to another work of mine called Almost, which should be posted soon. Keep a look out!

Dear Diary,

 

First of all, I'm only writing in this book because Newt told me to. He said it would keep me sane, and I need to stay sane. I mean, it's not as if he writes a diary. But just to be clear, I'm not writing this because I'm a little prissy, because I'm not a prissy. I am Head of the Auror Office, after all.

 

Right. Now that's over with, let me write in this book about what I need to.

 

That's quoting Newt's words.

 

I had fallen in love with Leta at first sight: when my younger brother Newt invited her over for the Christmas holidays. Newt only had her as a friend. Or at least as a human friend. So I refrained from saying anything, because she liked Newt, my brother, as in crush, and because I didn't want to ruin Newt and Leta's friendship.

 

Oh, yes, my name's Theseus Scamander and I'm 31. I know what you're thinking; we both fell in love and had a happy ever after. Right? Well you're wrong.

 

When Newt was 16, he was expelled from school. Why? He willingly took the blame for something Leta had done. Besides, only she knew what had fully happened. The story that escaped to Headmaster Dippet was that a jarvey, belonging to a certain Newton Scamander, had been let loose at Hogwarts, after the animal ban, attacking a young boy named Sebastian. It certainly wasn't true. The jarvey belonged to Leta, and she, knowingly, let it out, in an attempt to make it attack Sebastian, as he had a crush on her. And yet when the headmaster had asked what had happened, Newt protested, but he refused to believe him.

 

And so he was expelled.

 

Now, this story is about me. Me and Leta. The story isn't set around Newt and his life. But it's essential that whoever's reading this stupid book knows how that last bit went. It's crucial to the story.

 

After Newt was expelled, she was banned from the house, and him from hers, and they weren't allowed to see each other again. Of course she meant that we were both forbidden to see her, but she forgot to mention my name.

That summer, I went to see her every day. I helped to heal her cuts, and I helped her fix the hole she had dug herself into. I saw that she'd changed, and I knew all her apologies she had written to people were heartfelt.

 

But then the holidays ended, and she had to go back to school.

 

I thought I'd moved on. I kidded myself that I had. I tried to push her away, like we were meant to, but I couldn't. My whole life seemed to revolve around seeing her, when she came over for the holidays. I mean, she was pretty, but I'd seen prettier. She was kind, caring, and funny, and I liked her for that. No. I LOVED her for that. But as much as I still loved her, I managed to get to grips with the fact I'd never see her again. I got a job, at the Ministry for Magic, and as they all saw that I was quick-learning, sensible and smart, I was soon promoted, until I was the head of my department, and one of the top Aurors in the world. I soon began to realise that I'd never stop loving her, but I could still live without her.

 

Until I saw her again.

 

When I first saw her at the ministry, I became tense and worried. What if she hated me? What if mum found out I was working in the same place as her? She'd tell me -no, demand me- to leave. And I couldn't, not at the minute, bear to let her go again.

 

It was only when I was introduced to her by Minister Fawley, as a new employee in my department, that I realised something: it wasn't her who destroyed me; it was my mother. It was her who'd ripped up all forms of contact with her. She even made us move house, so she wouldn't know our address. We all got new owls, and so I had lost her. But I realised I shouldn't take it out on her, and I treat her like a friend. I had to be careful not to mention that he loved her, which I was sure I still did, otherwise he would lose it and myself again. We spent a couple of weeks, just being friends, when fate decided to push us together.

 

It was due to an accident we finally got together. I ran into her, as I was late for a meeting. She asked what was wrong with me, so I apologised. But then, as she was walking away, the words came hurtling out of my mouth. Suddenly, my confessions, which I had been hiding for years, had been thrown out. In front of the whole hall.

 

From then on, it picked up, and fate only pushed us further together. I forgot my past when I was with her. It was me who shouted the first 'I love you', but she wasn't far behind. She was the one who first planted her soft lips on mine, and waited to see how I would respond. And from then on, I savoured every minute I spent with her. I kept a memory of all the things she'd said to me, and all the things I'd have to say to her, the next time I saw her again. I always remembered to kiss her goodbye, and to hug her when she was upset. For it was then, I realised, that we loved each other, and my heart no longer ached to be with her, for it was already there.

 

Even so, I was cautious around mum. When mum found out about me getting a girlfriend, I had to be careful not to mention her name, or anything that might give her away as Leta. If I did, I knew I would be forbidden from seeing her, and that would smash my already broken glass pane which was my heart.

 

But I wouldn't let that stop me from falling for her. When I told Newt that I was seeing Leta, he was calm, and he was genuinely pleased for me, that I had found my special someone.

 

I mean, as much as he could be when he caught us hugging at the doorway. At first , I lied, and I said her name was Hippolyda, but he saw straight through me. The only thing he minded about was that I didn't tell mum until I had to. He even suggested, as a joke, I go and elope with her. But after that, I began to think that that was the only thing I could do. I couldn't have a normal wedding, because I have to invite my mother.

 

And all that did was get me all upset again.

 

Luckily for me, I had Newt to keep me sane. And now apparently writing down my 'feelings' will help me even more. But when he heard me crying in the night, he came in, and comforted me. He made sure I was alright, before watching me fall asleep. Yes, I know, it didn't help the heartache that I'd developed, but without him to keep me company at home, I wouldn't have been able to bear it.

 

After seeing her for about half a year, I proposed to her, and she said yes. I was over the moon in ecstasy. Now, all I had to deal with was mum, and what she would say.

 

Big problem?

 

Yes.

 

I told my mum that we were engaged, for it was only right. However, I told her that her name was Hippolyda. Sadly, I knew that they'd have to see each other eventually, and she'd realise that the girl of my dreams was, and is, none other than Leta. Despite this, I've never told anyone, not even Leta or Newt, about my worries.

 

Everyone assumed that, me, being the elder and more sensible child, and with Newt being expelled from school, that Newt had the worst past out of us two brothers. Most days, I agree with this. I am one of the few people who know Newt is innocent, and that just made it worse for him. I am always empathetic, and I can't bear to see others in trouble, especially when it isn't their fault. But some days, I see myself as the only contender for that title, as I remember how I was, or still am, forbidden from seeing her, and my tragic, miserable past. Those days keep coming more frequently now, and I'm constantly choking on my sobs, trying not to let anyone know about my terrors, and not letting anyone, especially mum. But those days, I give in, and those are the days I cry myself to sleep.

 

That reminds me of when I was bullied at Muggle school for being smart.

 

Before I met Leta.


	2. Chapter 2

Dear Diary,

Newt told me to write about everything, right from the beginning. So I thought it was best to start with the first time I spoke to her: those Christmas holidays when she was invited over.

I was 12 at the time, but mature for my age. I had invited Sebastian over, so the house (which was only small, as it was the BL- before Leta- one) was full, and it was fun.

Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if Newt wasn't born. Sure, I'd be glad, as he's so annoying, but I would never have met Leta. At least not properly.

I remember getting off the train before him, and introducing my mother and Sebastian. I was quite content, as I had never been allowed to have a friend stay before.

And then Newt walked off of the train, grinning at her.

They walked over to us, where Newt introduced us. Mother was amazed that Newt had managed to get along with someone. She had been told in letters, but she didn't believe him until then, when he had seen how happy he was.

It was only later on when Mother realised my mood had picked up. She presumed it was because I was glad to see Newt.

As if.

But I couldn't believe the girl Newt had brought with him. At first, I reconsidered, and I thought that he must be talking to the girl behind her. She was short, fat, and full of spots. Just Newt's type of girl. But then Leta put her arm around him, and began talking to him.

We were there, on the platform, when she skipped over to us. As much as I tried not to stare, her radiating beauty seemed to have me under the Imperius Curse. That's an example of me being mature for my age. We're not supposed to learn about that until Fourth Year.

She looked like one of them Greek goddesses, particularly Aphrodite. I would have thought she was, was it not for her coffee-coloured skin. Her waist-length hair was left loose, brown curls flowing all over. She wore a green lotus flower clip just to the side of her head. She had dazzling, shining brown eyes, which seemed to be darting around, as if to tease me. Her Slytherin-coloured dress only just reached her knees; she really didn't leave much up to the imagination. I suddenly realised how rude I must look, and my cheeks burnt red. My jaw dropped, as I continued to gawp at her. She only enticed me more as I heard her angelic voice talking to my mother. I couldn't even focus on the words she was saying. She was just perfect.

She still is.

I turned away. She couldn't catch me staring at her. Even if she was the devil who caused it. Although, I argued, she must be used to it, with such a lovely figure like that, bearing such a gorgeous dress. Instead, I went to go talk to Sebastian. It was only then that I realised he was goggling at her, bright red too, that I realised it was a lost battle. I couldn't stop staring; it was physically impossible to not look at her.

It just so happened that as I turned round to take in her beauty again, she smiled at me.

Sure, it was just a smile. But I started hyperventilating. I stayed sane just enough to return a wobbly, nervous smile.

I could see that Sebastian was fidgeting, and was having worse breathing problems than me.

I didn't ever expect her to speak to me though. Especially with all the other hot boys around, one of them dancing in the corner of my eye.

I mean you, Sebastian.

So when she spoke to me, I was shocked beyond belief.

"So you must be Theseus."

"Y-y-yes, that's me." I stuttered.

"Newt mentioned you once."

I knew those words were meant to mean that Newt didn't like me much, and neither did she, but I still couldn't be mad at her. Newt, on the other hand, was a different story.

"He did, however, say you were really brave. And that you were better at him than everything. Now, it appears, he's much more better at talking to new people he doesn't know than you. And he's awful at that."

Merlin! She had noticed my nervousness-- if that's even a word. And now she was grilling me with it.

If only she knew the cause of it.

I let out a chuckle nervously, just to make myself look better. Being compared to Newt was such an insult.

Or should I say is, Miss Goldstein. I know she like my brother, but it’s no reason to constantly point out how much more amazing he is than me.

 

I didn’t see her much then, as she generally spent all day either in Newt’s bedroom ,or with him and Mother looking at the Hippogriffs. And, of course, I was in charge of entertaining Sebastian, who I regretted inviting over as soon as I set my eyes on Leta. But I remember sharing multiple dinners with her, and I began to see why Newt liked her. She was sarcastic and quick-witted; she’d always have some clever remark for you. And she could easily take exams at Second Year level when she was eleven, for I’d never met such a clever young girl. There was also the fact that she was just so cute, but when Newt makes friends, he tends to overlook beauty. I tended to judge a girl on her good looks to start with, even though I know a girl can be very kind, even though her looks suggest otherwise.

 

I remember quite clearly that she managed to get on my mother’s bad side within a few days. They disagreed on many things, but of course Newt was oblivious to this, being the little angel he is. Once, at dinner, her and Sebastian ended up having a competition to see who could find the funniest joke. I know for sure that Sebastian lost badly to her in the end. However, my mother doesn’t like conversation at the table, so she lost her temper with the eleven-year-old. Since then, Leta’s always been disliked by Mother, though I can’t really see why. It wasn’t as if she was rude and unkind, because Newt would never like anybody like that. And at least she had dressed with modesty, unlike most other girls her age. I noticed her usual style of dress was similar to a school uniform; she generally wore a jumper, a baggy shirt underneath, and black pants, though she really ought to have worn a skirt. She was very likeable, but I soon found out from Newt that she was a wee bit of an outsider, just like him. Her surname defined her, and people constantly judged her for the crimes her Pure-blood family had committed. I, however, could tell that only a sweet, innocent girl was inside of her.

That is, until I found out of how she had framed Newt.

 

In summary, Leta was an angel at first sight, and always has been to me. I love her more than anything. But, you see, so does Newt.

Sure, Leta had hurt him in the past, and she was never fully forgiven by him for what she’d done. But Newt still found it in his heart to love her. I could tell it absolutely crushed him to find out that we were engaged. I feel guilty for making him so upset, but I can’t help falling in love, and I respect that Newt can’t. I just wish that Newt would try to hide it a bit, instead of gawping at her every time I’ve turned my back.

 

So Newt, go and get your own girlfriend and stop chasing mine. You shouldn’t have turned Leta down as a teen if you loved her so much. And besides, it’s not as if you don’t have enough admirers of your own. Bunty and Pandora both like you, and Tina, well I don’t know how you can’t notice her love for you.

Hands off Leta. She’s mine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to bring this story back to life-- but now I regret it. Never mind; what's done cannot be undone, unless I steal a time turner from the Ministry and stop The Cursed Child from happening. Wait, that's not a very bad idea.
> 
> Back on track, this story is alive again, so you can expect random updates to it whenever life lets me. Make sure to subscribe and review!
> 
> -Porpetnina

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Next chapter is coming soon! Please leave a comment!


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